To the girlfriend of a gamer

I have been mulling over this past week about what I should post about in my blog. I considered talking about engagement rings, making a DIY post for wedding invitations, and my latest bedroom haul. But I’ve got to be honest, that all sounded extremely boring. So today I am going to write to the girlfriend of a gamer. For those of you who do not know me personally, I am now the wife of a gamer. I understand your frustrations. Particularly if you are a non-gamer, it is likely that gaming is the topic of many arguments. I know it seems like when he enters the magical space of his console/pc you’ll never get him back to the real-world, but there are definitely ways you can make it work. So here are five tips I have dedicated to the girlfriends of gamers.

Learn to communicate

I know of a non-gamer girlfriend who once tried to sell her boyfriends PS4 without his knowledge. I don’t know what she was aiming to achieve, but it was certainly not happiness on his behalf. Learn to communicate your frustrations without anger. Dont try to guilt trip him while he’s gaming, just try to communicate with him about how you are feeling. It often happens that gamers don’t realise your feeling alone or you feel like he doesn’t love you.

Get into gaming

I give this advice assuming that he already gives time for you. If he doesn’t then I wouldn’t advise this. So, one of my biggest pieces of advice would be to get into gaming. It is possible that you may actually enjoy some of the games he plays (and a little competition is always healthy). Then gaming time automatically morphs into couple time and before you know it you’ll be a cohesive unit in ESO destroying veteran dungeons. It may take a bit of time to get fully into it or find games that you actually enjoy, but he’ll love you even more for it.

Find a hobby

Of course, if you’ve given the tip above sometime and put in a good amount of effort (with no such luck) you might find that you need a hobby. I know of many non-gamer girlfriends who simply play on their phone while their boyfriends are gaming. Lets face it, you get bored relatively quickly and then all your attention turns to your boyfriend not giving you attention. Your boyfriend has found a hobby he really enjoys (too much probably), why not find a hobby you really enjoy? That way you have something to do while he’s having ‘guy time’.

Compromise with designated couple time

After you’ve communicated your feelings about his gaming it would be good to reach a compromise. We girls love to come home and cuddle on the couch after dinner, and that’s fine! Just agree to do it. My husband and I agree that (on a weekday) after dinner we spend at least an hour doing something together before he plays the game. Then we often both game for a couple of hours and we’ll often stop to talk throughout. Although this works for us you may want to spend longer together or alternatively set date nights. The important thing is that you compromise to make the situation better for both of you.

Dont complain about his gaming 

For many guys gaming can often be a way to unwind after a long day at work and also a way to connect with friends. This is true for my husband, he enjoys a couple of hours after spending some time with me. I personally do not think this is anything to complain about, everyone needs hobbies and alone time.  But I think its important for girlfriends to understand that constant complaints about this can destroy your relationship. If you are always complaining you become a more negative person, you may be making your boyfriend feel unworthy and unloved, and you miss out on the good things because of all the negative emotions.

In saying all of this it is important to recognise the difference between ‘really liking video games’ and ‘addicted to video games’. If your boyfriend is happier playing video games than he is interacting with friends, he doesn’t stop to have a meal, his work/school performance has suffered due to excessive gaming, gaming, he gets angry when you ask him to spend time with you (even though he has been playing for hours), or your attempts at asking him to cut back have gone unnoticed I would ask you to consider if it is more than simply a love for gaming…

 

 

 

 

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